Summer is upon us, and most people associate it with relaxation and vacation.
But is this true for everyone? For many people with autism, ADHD and other types of neurodivergence, the summer holidays are not just synonymous with nice weather and quality time with the family. For many, it is a disruptive break with routine – one that costs a lot of energy.
Read about why vacations take extra effort for neurodivergent people, and get advice on what you can do to prevent your vacation from becoming stressful.
The summer holidays disrupt daily routines
Before I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD in 2018, I had a perplexing pattern of feeling very stressed and anxious during the long summer holidays. But with my diagnosis I finally understood why: the holiday break was a disruptive break in the daily routines. And breaking routines is often very taxing on autistic people. When we’re away on holiday, I can’t rely on my well established routines. Everything is new. I don’t know the layout of the local supermarket, and whether or not they have the limited selection of food my family actually eats. I don’t know if the bed will actually be comfortable enough. I don’t know how to avoid the sun waking up everyone too early in the morning, etc.
In my experience, neurotypicals tend not to be too bothered by all these small inconveniences. It does not cost them that much extra brain power having to look through three different drawers in search of the forks. But all that newness costs me an overwhelming amount of energy. In fact, it is so taxing that I have to very carefully plan my holidays to make sure I don’t overtax my brain in such a way that I make myself ill.
Autistic brains are gas guzzlers – and they do run dry!
The autistic brain tends to run hot – a study shows that autistic brains seemingly generate about 40% more information at rest than a neurotypical brain. You can read more about why in our other insights here.
This trait might be advantageous for human kind because autistic people tend to be deep thinkers who can innovate and solve very complex problems. However, when our routines are disturbed, like during the holidays, it causes such an overload to the system, that we often get so overwhelmed that it causes meltdowns and intense anxiety.
How do I avoid meltdowns and burnout during the holiday?
Here are a few tips that I use to get myself and my family through the holidays relatively unscathed.
What makes the summer holidays enjoyable – for you?
We are bombarded with advertising showing us holiday revellers enjoying the beach, the sun and exciting big city trips. But what do you actually like to do? Personally, I hate intense heat and direct sunlight. And big cities with masses of people and intense noise are way too overwhelming. In conclusion: allow yourself to plan a holiday that you and your family will actually enjoy.
Lower your ambitions – plan for relaxation
A lot of people feel like their holiday is “wasted” if it is not packed with activities. However, for a lot of neurodivergent people, it is essential to pepper in a lot of off-time to avoid meltdowns. For some, a stay-cation with few activities is the best option. Do whatever is actually best for you.
The journey itself is very stressful
Getting to a destination is in and of itself very stressful for autistic people. Means of transport are very overwhelming sensory environments, and things never seem to go exactly as planned. I very rarely travel by flying. The last time I did so, I ended up having a meltdown: Airports are very confusing and overwhelming places, I am scared of missing the flight, so I struggle to sleep the night before. The aeroplane itself is very sensory overwhelming. Sometimes very hot, sometimes very cold, loud and with uncomfortable seating. On top of all that, aeroplanes are often delayed or cancelled. All those factors compounded on me and I ended up with a pretty intense meltdown. It can be difficult to avoid all meltdowns during these intensely stressful travel days.
But you can mitigate some of the stressors by using the Hidden Disabilities Lanyard (the one with the sunflower).You can put on noise cancelling headphones, and have a travel partner who you can rely on if you feel a meltdown coming on.
Bring routines with you
Vacations disrupt routines by nature. But with a bit of effort, you can transplant your routines from home into your new environment. Essential routines for me are my weighted blanket, my stuffed animal and a cup of instant coffee first thing in the morning. Going to bed and waking up at the same time as you normally do is a great way of maintaining routine. Some people vacation at the same destination, year after year. Find out what routines make sense to you to maintain. And remember that it might take a little while to come back to your home routine when you get home.
Safefood is great!
Many neurotypical people love visiting restaurants and trying new and exciting food as part of their holiday. Many autistic people feel the opposite. And that is perfectly fine. If eating toast, pizza and cup noodles will keep you fed, there’s no shame in that. Safefood is a great way to preserve precious energy – either because it’s routine, or because it requires little preparation.
Your sensory needs are valid
Autistic and ADHD people often have much more intense sensory experiences, be it sound, sight, smell, taste or touch. Planning your vacation around your sensory needs is a good idea. If your hotel room is right next to a loud nightclub, it can ruin the entire stay. I bring my weighted blanket if at all possible, and I always bring my noise cancelling headphones.
Adjust expectations with your friends and family
We often go on holiday together with friends or family. However, they might have a very different idea of what constitutes a good time. Adjusting expectations with them beforehand is key. It is important that your travel companions know that you need more predictability and more off time. I used to feel shame about cancelling plans and not being able to do as much as everyone else. Now I know that my off time is necessary, and that it is ok to skip the mini golf or a late night at the bar – and my travel companions are ok with that.
Spend time immersing yourself in a special interest to relax
Many autistic and ADHD people have special interests and/or hyperfixations that they love spending their time doing. Whether you love knitting, researching a niche subject or simply zoning out on TikTok, it is a perfect opportunity to relax and forget about the stressors of travelling.
Do something fun, even though you are on your own
Many autistic people experience loneliness. It often feels worse when everyone else is posting pictures of themselves on their seemingly perfect holidays on their social media. If you can manage it, try doing something out of the ordinary, even though you do it by yourself. It can be something to do with your special interest, or maybe something you always wanted to try. t can be anything from going to a gaming night at a local cafe, a yoga retreat or a ceramics class for beginners. I know it can be very intimidating, especially at first. If it is too much, you can ask a friend or family member to be a lifeline you can write to when the anxiety feels too overwhelming.
A good holiday – for you!
I hope your holiday is nice and not too stressful. Remember: you are not a burden, and your needs deserve to be met. It is ok to say no to things or change plans if you need to. It is your holiday, and you deserve to spend it in a way that makes sense to you. You’d might like our other insights from an inside perspective.
